I knew sometime last night that I would be crying today. Yet, when I arrived in the gym before the ceremony began, I vowed myself not to cry (I hadn't found my waterproof mascara that morning, anyways). There the teachers were, forming a long aisle for the students to walk down and bid them farewell. As the sad music came on and the first seniors stepped out, I felt my eyes sting with tears. I held it back though, and only did the first tear fall when I saw my friend's brother wave her down from the bleachers and then give her a huge hug. It was a bittersweet moment.
I watched on as siblings found each other and best friends sobbed. I smiled a watery smile as students hugged their teachers and thanked them for the impact they left on their life. I decided to make my way on down when I saw some seniors I wanted to say goodbye to. I said goodbye briefly, before turning and seeing Hannah. Her eyes were filled with tears as expected and she gave me the biggest hug. There was no talking, just the sad sound of crying. Then Mackenzie and Ainsley came along (sobbing as predicted) and my level of emotions was kicked up even further. The crying and "Don't Leave!" "I Can't Leave!" were said many times over and over. The sadness was at an all time high. I could not even contain my sobs at this point but I did not even care anymore.
The lovely Eileen and Marianne took some photos despite our red eyes and streaked faces. My sobs had subsided somewhat.
Then I saw Melanie, who I've known since the first day of freshmen year. She has been in my Spanish class for two consecutive years and it will be hard to have another year of Spanish without the group of IB kids. I said bye to a few other seniors and it was all very, very sad.
I have yet to say goodbye to the seniors I know at our rival school. I am attending my "big sister" from field hockey's graduation party tomorrow evening and am hoping I do not cry. She was a great role model to me throughout the season and I looked up to her and was able to learn so much from her. I'm grateful for all she taught me about hard work and perseverance and will miss her a lot (her name is also Hannah!)
Anyways, the Moving Up Ceremony concluded with the seniors exiting the gym. Then, the juniors moved to the senior side of the bleachers, and my sophomore class was able to cross the gym. Now, we are juniors. It is a scary, bewildering, exciting, nerve-racking (and about 100 other things) thought.
Mostly, I will just miss Hannah and Mackenzie the most. Sure, I'll miss lots of the friendly faces I knew and enjoyed talking to, but Hannah and Mackenzie became almost like the older sisters I never had. It may sounds like a cheesy cliche, but that's exactly what they are to me and I'll miss them dearly. I will miss our Christmas Party planning and all our talks about Gossip Girl and style and I will mostly just miss seeing them at tennis and talking to them in the halls. It really is the small things we end up missing the most and I miss it already. Who knows how life will even go on when they really leave to college, but it will go on.
It seems as though I was a freshmen a mere week ago. In all honesty, I can remember so much of it so clearly and it does not seem very distant at all. I'm missing being an underclassmen already because I can remember being in 8th grade and looking up to them so much. Now I'm almost an upperclassmen and everyone will be looking to my class. It is so scary to me because I can't believe that time goes by this fast.
Before I know it, I'll be in the seniors' shoes and I'll be leaving my younger siblings at home just like Hannah and Mackenzie are doing soon. I'm terrified that once high school is over, that's it. High school is such a big yet small part of life and I can not believe it is halfway over. Now is such a time to reflect because I'm stuck right in the middle. Maybe I can just stay here forever. It's safe in the middle. Not too young and at the bottom, but also not too old with a lot of responsibilities. I like the middle and I'm not quite ready to leave it.
I'm not ready for this big world. It's a wonderful place and I've always wanted to explore it, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to leave my friends and family and go out on my own.
It's terrifying that we all grow up one day and we all grow old and then the next day the only thing remaining is the memory of our past.
As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever
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