they are falling apart on the bathroom floor at 3 am. In a mess on the tile in a puddle of tears. You hear their sobs shake the walls. It's three in the morning, come back to bed. You'll feel better in the morning. They don't get up from the floor, so you wrap the pillow around your ears. As sunlight filters through the window, you feel the empty sheets beside you. You go to brush your teeth, and they're asleep on the bathroom floor.
falling out of love happens quietly, and it may happen to you when you least expect it.
It isn't your fault and it isn't their fault.
Sometimes, no matter how desperately you want to stay in love with someone, you no longer can. Life is life, and suddenly there is no time to exist alongside the person you love.
It becomes too difficult to simply exist, because at first school is stressful and then people get separated in college. As teenagers it feels like the weight of the world and future is on our shoulders and no matter how far apart we are we will always find our way back to each other. Promise? Always.
That turns into the small white house tucked between the two weeping willow trees. The mattress is on the floor, paint cans are in every room and it's perfect. It's perfect for now.
Then the air conditioning breaks in mid-July, there is a stack of bills on the counter, and how are we supposed to afford this? I don't know but we'll figure it out.
The baby finally comes and it's the constant photographs being taken by adoring family members. Your kitchen is full of diaper boxes, patterned blankets, and untouched presents. The baby crawls for the first time, everyone cries out with excitement and look at how fast they grow. Time is flying.
It becomes kids that keep you up through the night, after waking from a nightmare. They're crying and you sit on the edge of their bed and read them stories, holding them until they fall back to sleep. As soon as your head hits the pillow again the alarm goes off and it's time for work and if you take the kids to school I will pick them up after my meeting.
It's the holiday season and you're going to their parents' house for dinner. The kids are dressed in sweaters and all things wintery. You zip up their coats as they pile into the car. Halfway down the road, the children singing Jingle Bells merrily from the back seat and did you forget the pie? Now I have to turn around.
The fight comes a quarter past midnight.
There have been fights like this before, but nothing that has rattled you to the bones. You clutch onto the couch pillow as they shout. You stand and throw the pillow to the ground, never expecting such rage to come from yourself. Your whole body goes cold as you feel them slip away.
Mom? Dad? The meek voice calls quietly from the top of the stairs.
Go back to bed, honey. Everything is fine.
Why are you fighting?
We're not, honey. Go back to sleep. Everything is fine.
Then you wonder how did this happen? When did this happen and why was I too busy to notice? Nothing is fine. Nothing is the same and how the hell could you not realize this sooner... or maybe you did realize, but dismissed it as a part of life. People grow apart and all of that. But how can someone who was once a piece of you suddenly feel so far away? They are standing before you, but they are already gone.
I have seen this happen. I see it happening all around me, all of the time.
I've seen it in my parents. My parents who, for a moment in time, loved each other enough to get married. My parents who had three kids together. My parents who moved 1000 miles and two states away from home. My parents who went through it all. Going through it all can do that to a person... it changes them. It builds them up and breaks them down.
Falling out of love happens because love requires patience and effort, and patience and effort are two things that run out with time.
So don't blame them and don't blame yourself.
It may be the biggest tragedy of all time: from loving someone so much they become a part of you, to struggling to find reasons to stay. It happens.
It happens.
It's okay.
Go back to bed, honey. Everything is fine.
Until next time xxx.
falling out of love happens quietly, and it may happen to you when you least expect it.
It isn't your fault and it isn't their fault.
Sometimes, no matter how desperately you want to stay in love with someone, you no longer can. Life is life, and suddenly there is no time to exist alongside the person you love.
It becomes too difficult to simply exist, because at first school is stressful and then people get separated in college. As teenagers it feels like the weight of the world and future is on our shoulders and no matter how far apart we are we will always find our way back to each other. Promise? Always.
That turns into the small white house tucked between the two weeping willow trees. The mattress is on the floor, paint cans are in every room and it's perfect. It's perfect for now.
Then the air conditioning breaks in mid-July, there is a stack of bills on the counter, and how are we supposed to afford this? I don't know but we'll figure it out.
The baby finally comes and it's the constant photographs being taken by adoring family members. Your kitchen is full of diaper boxes, patterned blankets, and untouched presents. The baby crawls for the first time, everyone cries out with excitement and look at how fast they grow. Time is flying.
It becomes kids that keep you up through the night, after waking from a nightmare. They're crying and you sit on the edge of their bed and read them stories, holding them until they fall back to sleep. As soon as your head hits the pillow again the alarm goes off and it's time for work and if you take the kids to school I will pick them up after my meeting.
It's the holiday season and you're going to their parents' house for dinner. The kids are dressed in sweaters and all things wintery. You zip up their coats as they pile into the car. Halfway down the road, the children singing Jingle Bells merrily from the back seat and did you forget the pie? Now I have to turn around.
The fight comes a quarter past midnight.
There have been fights like this before, but nothing that has rattled you to the bones. You clutch onto the couch pillow as they shout. You stand and throw the pillow to the ground, never expecting such rage to come from yourself. Your whole body goes cold as you feel them slip away.
Mom? Dad? The meek voice calls quietly from the top of the stairs.
Go back to bed, honey. Everything is fine.
Why are you fighting?
We're not, honey. Go back to sleep. Everything is fine.
Then you wonder how did this happen? When did this happen and why was I too busy to notice? Nothing is fine. Nothing is the same and how the hell could you not realize this sooner... or maybe you did realize, but dismissed it as a part of life. People grow apart and all of that. But how can someone who was once a piece of you suddenly feel so far away? They are standing before you, but they are already gone.
I have seen this happen. I see it happening all around me, all of the time.
I've seen it in my parents. My parents who, for a moment in time, loved each other enough to get married. My parents who had three kids together. My parents who moved 1000 miles and two states away from home. My parents who went through it all. Going through it all can do that to a person... it changes them. It builds them up and breaks them down.
Falling out of love happens because love requires patience and effort, and patience and effort are two things that run out with time.
So don't blame them and don't blame yourself.
It may be the biggest tragedy of all time: from loving someone so much they become a part of you, to struggling to find reasons to stay. It happens.
It happens.
It's okay.
Go back to bed, honey. Everything is fine.
Until next time xxx.
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