Be Like Snow, Cold but Beautiful

There is a quote that goes, "Be like snow. Cold, but beautiful." I thought it was such a fascinating concept.. To be beautiful and unattainable. Being unattainable has this mysterious sort of appeal to it. So I always thought, "yes, yes. Be cold." I didn't consider being cold as being mean. I just saw it as being emotionless in a way. If you act like you don't have feelings, maybe you'll never hurt.

That is how I thought for a brief time. Then I was thinking, and I realized that while snow is beautiful, icicles are dangerous. You see snow and think, "how lovely." But then you see icicles hanging from a roof and think, "better watch out." Icicles are beautiful and sometimes they catch the sunlight and for a moment you're captivated. If you get too close to an icicle, you risk the chance of getting hurt. 

Then, I was actually out in the snow and remembered how much I hated being in it. Snow may be pretty, but being cold is no fun for me. 

I realized the moments I'm happiest have been in the sun. There is nothing better than closing my eyes and feeling sunlight flood over me. Whether it's laying in the grass or sinking into the sand, being in the sun makes me happy. 

It was then I changed my mind. I don't want to be cold but beautiful. I want to be warm like the sun. So don't be an icicle or snow.. Be a sunrise, or a sunset, or a July day at noon when the sun is high in the sky. I want to give people the feeling I have when I feel the warmth of the sun and hear birds chirping and can smell freshly cut grass, or hear the waves crashing against the shore. 

The earth needs the sun to survive afterall. Without the sun, we would all cease to exist. The sun is the center of the universe. 

So I hope you choose to be the sun instead of the snow. I hope you bring light and warmth into the lives of others. The whole world needs the sun to survive, and there is someone in the world that needs you to survive, too. 

Until next time xxx. 

Last Christmas

I can not believe how quickly 2014 flew by! Christmas is in just over a week, and our annual Christmas party is in one week exactly!

I have been so busy with school, work, and life in general, but I linked Mackenzie's video of our Christmas party  below. This year it is going to be 1000x better and I could not be more excited! I can not believe that we were planning our first party over a year ago. It is truly remarkable how the time passes. 

Happy Holidays! http://vimeo.com/82973040

Until next time xxx. 

In the Autumn

It is fall. Everything is falling. The leaves fall from the trees and sprinkle the sidewalks. The stars fall from the sky as the nights grow longer. I fall. I fall into who I am becoming. In light of recent events in my life, I have been given no other choice but to fall and trust that I will land safely. Maybe not to even land. Perhaps I am trusting that while I am falling, I will learn to fly. 

Here I sit on this school bus, and I feel alive. It is unseasonably warm for October, and the windows are cracked. As the bus flies down the freeway, my hair rustles in the crisp  fall breeze. The colored trees flash past the windows, enveloping me in warmth. The laughter of children floats throughout the bus and out the windows, a blanket of innocence and hope. It is beautiful and I am alive. 

Fall is perhaps one of my favorite months. Not only are the holidays fast approaching, but the earth itself is burning with life. Of course, they say spring is the time of life. Flowers blossom, rivers run, and animals are born. But I find fall much more promising. 

The plants know that death is in their future. The ground is turning cold and the air is bitter. It's becoming harder to survive. Despite this, the leaves burn crimson, igniting the world. They know their time is up, yet they chose to be most beautiful of all. 

That is how I want to live. I want to be full of perseverance. I want to ignite the world, even when it is coldest. 

Until next time xxx. 

a sad but necessary post

I owe you all an explanation to why I have been such a crappy blogger later. "Crappy" isn't really a strong enough word, but it's what I'm sticking to for now. 

I owe my readers more than just the typical "I've been busy," or "school has been really stressful." Yes, all those things are quite true. School is as stressful as ever, and now that I have a job (more on that later) I'm a busy bee. 

In reality, I haven't had a sufficient amount of time to sit down and post a proper and interesting post. 

Sadly, that isn't the core reason I have not been blogging. Yes, those things are all factors, but there is a much bigger issue in my life that I should address. 

You see, something damn sad has happened to me and my family. To you, it may be no big deal, but to me this is a lot to handle. 

I have had nothing to post, because lately I have been overcome with sadness and stress. 

My parents are getting a divorce. 

Divorce. It's such an ugly, bitter word. A word I truly find disgusting... Divorce. Divorce. Divorce. 

It's as if my whole life is circling around this major event. It should not be, of course. That is not healthy. But it is okay to grieve while I am trying to sort this out. 

Divorces are ugly affairs my friends. I wish no one ever had to go through what I'm going through right now. 

It is hell. No, it's more than hell. It is heartbreaking. 

So, yes, I am sorry I do not have any recent posts up. I'm working on it, and I even have quite a few ideas. 

1. Favorite fall recipes

2. Fall makeup tutorial

Stay posted. I'll try to have one of these up within the next week! Until next time xxx.

For now, some brighter memories...

The Truth About Love

If you stumbled across this post, I hope you stay awhile and try to discover what the honest truth about love is with me. 

I do not know all about love and what it means and how it makes others feel. But I do know a few things firsthand that can maybe help you and I piece together this little mystery that is love. 

In my personal opinion, having to constantly proclaim your love is not real. Yes, it is important to be proud of your love and to show off the ones you love, but love should not always be about shouting it out for the whole world to hear. Sometimes love is a whisper and other times it is absolutely silent. Of course it can be loud, but it can also be soft. See, beautiful loves remind me of soft classical music. It's never irritating or annoying, just simply soothing and breathtaking in it's own quiet way. It doesn't beg for the attention of others, instead it plays on it's own, bringing a smile to the faces of those who happen to catch it's tune. 

Love is caring about someone unconditionally and never wanting to hurt them. Love is caring for someone like they're a delicate piece of glass that could shatter at any moment in time. You are careful to not break them. 

Of course, we always hurt the ones we love. Sadly, that's something inevitable. In a twisted way, we hurt them because we love them. Almost never on purpose, hopefully, but life happens and messes are made. 

You always hurt the one you love

The one you shouldn't hurt at all
You always take the sweetest rose
And crush it till the petals fall
You always break the kindest heart
With a hasty word you can't recall
So If I broke your heart last night
It's because I love you most of all

To me, a part of love is getting hurt. How much did you truly love if you never get hurt once in awhile? The tenderest hearts feel the most pain, but they are also the ones who love the most. So if you're going to really love others, you have to expect to get hurt every once in awhile. 

Love can also be looking at someone and seeing everything you've ever wanted. Suddenly, it isn't something you want in your life, but something you need. One day you just crave the presence of something else in your life. You wonder how you lived so long without something like that in your life. 

Then there is the type of love where you need just one person. You don't need anyone else to take care of you and you don't want to take care of anyone else. Just two people who are willing to be together forever. That's a beautiful type of love and I hope that whenever I find it I never lose it. 

Also, there is the love we have for our family and close friends. You can not imagine a life without them and even when you're mad at them you love them so much it feels like your heart will explode. 

Love should be explosion. No matter what kind of love it is, you should always feel as if you are about to explode. You'll explode of happiness, or explode into tears. Your heart will explode from being so full. You will just explode and become one with the stars. That is love and that is the truth. Until next time xxx. 

The Future Ahead

Lately I have been thinking a lot about this small moment I am in and how it is passing me by. High school will be over before I know it and I'll be thrown into the real world. 

This really hit me this past Saturday when I went up to CU Boulder for the football game and was able to see Hannah and Mackenzie. It seems like just yesterday we were playing tennis and planning our Christmas party. Now, the Christmas of 2014 is fast approaching and Hankenzie is no longer around to see on a daily basis. It's scary but also incredibly eye-opening. The more I think about it, the more annoyed I get. The real world is so much more exciting and.. Well, real. I crave all the knowledge and experiences that await me and feel like I'm wasting my time with pointless moments and forgettable people. 

Only a select few people have truly touched my life. Only a few people and things are worth remembering. The real memories begin in college, and even a lot of those will slip my mind once I have a family, have traveled, and have actually lived.

Stopping by CU, even for just the evening, really opened my eyes to how quickly we are expected to grow up. The memories are worth making, but they're going to all be forgotten. That's just the way life is. Things I used to think about day after day never cross my mind anymore. It's fascinating and just so interesting how we change. 

Sometimes people change for the worse, others for the better. Change is change but I refuse to settle for an ordinary life. I'm living my life how I want and am never changing myself for anyone. The future is awaiting afterall, and I want it to accept me for me. 

The future out there, but for now I am in the present. Until next time xxx. 

P.S. Enjoy a couple photos from the football game. Look at those beautiful mountains. 

We Are the Universe

***I began to write this weeks ago, during summer.  I was spending the night in a hotel, and what else is to be expected than to have all sorts of thoughts while in a mysterious hotel.  I have had some posts similar to it, but this one started in the early morning hours.  I barely thought about anything at all before typing it.  So here it is, thoughts in the rawest form:

Stars.

No, not the stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I'm talking about the real stars that hang in the sky. So small from down here on earth, yet so magnificent and bright up in space. They're powerful in their own way. So small, yet we can see them from millions of miles away. I think that's something special. I think that says a lot about the universe we live in. It's a brilliant universe with so much of it unexplored. Untouched. No one really even knows how big the universe is or how many stars there actually are. Yet we are here on Earth. One relatively small planet in a vast universe full of lots of stars. It almost makes this all seem somewhat unimportant. All the silly things we stress over seem like nothing compared to the entire universe. It makes the world seem like a speck of dust, if not invisible entirely. 

Yet before I left California (I'm in a hotel in Nevada now, heading back to Colorado) I was looking at a map my grandparents have on their wall. There's a map of the United States beside a map of the world. It showed me how fairly small this country is when compared to the rest of the world. It helped me realize that maybe California and Colorado aren't too far apart after all. 

That got me thinking even more about how strange this world is. Somehow all of us were put here for a reason. We were born where we were into our different families for some unknown reason. When you think about how large the world is and all the different possibilities there are, I  find it pretty outstanding that we are where we are. 

We may just be less than .00000000000001% of something when compared to the universe, but we are all have some sort of purpose and I find that fascinating. That, when you look at the night sky and see all the stars twinkling way out of your reach, you're still something. Even with all the other people and the oceans and the planets you still matter.  There may be wars and heartbreak, but then there is you.  You can turn yourself into whatever you like.  Your piece of the universe can be a beautiful, sparkling piece that is brighter than the biggest stars.
In this big universe we are all something.  We make up the universe.  We hold the universe within us.

Until next time xxx. 

The Spectacular Now

The Spectacular Now is such a wonderful film that is beautifully shot and has an important lesson behind it. Starring some favorites of mine, Miles Teller and Shailene Woodley, the movie chronicles the lives of two vastly different teens, how they fall in love, and the lessons they learn from one another. What's that lesson? To live in the moment because now is spectacular. Oh, how true that is.

I'm sure you have heard "I fell in love with him the way you fall asleep. Slowly and then all at once." I'm sure falling in love can be that way. I wouldn't know... I relate this statement more to growing up instead of falling in love.

Growing up is a long process that doesn't last that long at all. As a child, all the days would drag by. Summers seemed to last for years. I was pretty sure I was in 3rd grade for about 3 years. Life seemed endless. Growing up came slowly. 

The older I get, the shorter life seems. While each boring day at school lasts forever, I look back on Friday and am shocked how quickly the time went. The summers go by in the blink of an eye and school years fly. 

As a child I felt so big and important. I was somebody- this child with a bright future blossoming with potential. I was a part of the future. 

Now the future is here, standing right before me, and I don't know what to do. I'm paralyzed with the fear that I will not amount to the person I dreamed of. 

For example, I can remember being a freshman so vividly. Finally I was separated from the little kids and thrown into this "adult" world. I looked up to the juniors and seniors in awe. They were so old looking and acted just like adults. I wanted to be them. Now I am them. 

Yet, I stand before the mirror and see the same person I saw ten years ago. There is no change to me because I'm so used to myself. I look at my friends and they too look the same as they did freshmen year. Of course, they have changed. So have I. I am blind to recognizing any change because we have all grown at the same pace for the most part. Whenever I visit my family they say the regular, "you're so old! So big! Such a young lady!"

Wait. What? No I'm not! I'm just me. 

It's even weirder to me to know I've never actually seen myself. Sure, there are the photographs and mirrors, but I have never and never will see myself. I will never know exactly what I look like when I'm laughing, or crying, or even sleeping. We never actually see ourselves, but everyone else does. Isn't that interesting? 

Growing up comes slowly, but once you're finally more grown up everything goes by so fast. It may take a flower a long time to bloom, but once it does it's petals fall soon after. 

You are blooming right now. You're alive and breathing and you are in this moment. There are a million moments in the past and there will be moments in the future. The number of moments our futures hold are unknown and limited, so it is important to open your eyes and realize that you are blooming. Right now. You bloomed in the past and you'll bloom tomorrow but right now is a moment you will never get back. It will slip into the past and fall with a collection of other moments. 

The future from your childhood is here and your future now will come sooner than you would like. One day, high school will be over. College will come and it will go. Then you'll be living out in the world somewhere and you'll remember this moment as just another from the past. 

So enjoy this time for what it is, even if it is the most difficult time of your life. Time gets used up so there is no point in wasting any of it. 

Until next time xxx. 

What to Hold in Your Heart

Everyone dies.  Death is inevitable.  That is why I do not fear it.

What I fear is that when death comes knocking at my door, I will look back on my life with an emptiness in my heart.

I do not want to waste my life trying to please others and the standards society has set.

When death comes knocking, I do not want to say, "Hurry, bring me my diplomas and the paychecks. Bring me money.  Bring me my car, my house, my clothes."  No.  The only thing of value I can physically hold are the people I love.  That is all.

Everything else must be held not in my arms but in my heart.  All the memories and experiences are kept within me.  Lessons learned, times of love, laughter, heartbreak, tragedy… it is all in my head and heart.  The only worthy things I can hold a little nearer are loved ones.  My brothers, my dog, my parents, cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends.  They are what matter.

The clothes, jewelry, house, car… they are nothing.  They will not define who I was or what I did with my life.

A number will not determine what kind of individual I was.  Whether it be grades, how many zeros on a paycheck, or how small the clothing size.  Those are all just things.  They are not people.  They are not life.  They are not me.

I am going to live my life in such a way that pleases me and meets my personal standards.  I will live to create beautiful memories that I can remember with fondness years into the future.

The thing is, time goes by fast.  One day, all my time will be gone and I will wonder where the hell it all went.  It will simply slip away into the past and the future will no longer belong to me.

If I live my life to the fullest each day and savor every moment, I will not be fearful when death is standing on my doorstep.  I will not be so sad that all my time is gone.  I will know that I lived my life to the best of my ability and that it is my time to move along.  There will be so many lovely things within my heart that my spirit will be free.

I encourage you to live your life in a similar way.  Be enlightened and positive.  Enjoy every little second.  Live without fear.

So, one day, when death comes knocking at my door, I will say "come on in for awhile."  And death will come.  He will come, but I will be so full of the life I lived that I will not be scared of him.  I will go with death wherever he takes me, knowing that life was kind to me and I was kind to life.

Until next time xxx.

An Old and A New Life

Hannah's blog post {happilyhannah.blogspot.com} inspired me to write this up.  I have wanted to talk about this for quite some time, but it is a little difficult to form into words.  I suppose I will try to come up with something that is somewhat easy to understand.

Ever since October 30, 2008, I have never felt as though I belonged.  That was the day I left California behind and moved to the foreign land of Colorado.  It was very difficult for me to leave all my family and friends in the Golden State and just move away.  I packed up my entire life into boxes and we were off.  It was heartbreaking.

I knew no one in Colorado.  Not a single breathing soul.  I was alone.  Terrified does not even begin to describe how I felt.  There was this feeling in my stomach… the sort of feeling you get before going on a roller coaster.  Deep down I knew I would survive and that everything would be perfectly fine.  Yet I was so uncertain.  It nearly felt as though I was just on a vacation or that I was dreaming and would wake at any moment.

For the first time I saw a range of mountains instead of endless water.  In so many words, it was somewhat of a culture shock.

To understand the stark contrast between my old and new life, there are a few things you must hear:

The San Francisco Bay Area is no pocketful of sunshine.  It's a rough place to grow up and in reality I am very lucky I was able to move away.  Sure the food, weather, climate, and cities don't get much better than in the Golden State.  I would never replace my family or forget my childhood friends.  Yet, it was not an idyllic place.

It was crowded, dirty, full of tension, and a lot of places were quite poor and uneducated.  To me, of course, it was perfect.  To my young self, it was full of love and happiness.  It was all I ever knew.

Now, I live in one of the richest counties in the entire United States and attend a high school that is in the top 2% in all of America.  That is pretty wild.  I am so, so lucky.  As expected, being lucky comes with a price tag.

I live in a place considered "The Bubble" because everyone here is So.  Damn.  Sheltered.  I met a girl once who said, "Compton is a real place??  I thought it was just something sketchy they made up for movies and stuff."  Sketchy is a word used to describe concerts or… or Downtown Denver.  They aren't going to inner-city schools in Chicago, or living off of food stamps.  

Their parents work their 9-5 jobs in an office.  Some people have maids.  The mothers get their hair and nails done weekly.  Teenagers throw fits if they don't have the newest iPhone in their hand and next year's car model in their driveway.  Vacations?  Hawaii every summer or they just take their boats to the lakes.  The day's biggest tragedy consists of a 5th grader breaking his iPad.  Speaking of 5th grade, as soon as I moved here a girl jumped to tell me that she never wore the same outfit twice.  And she never did. 

Of course, not everyone in "The Bubble," lives a lavish life.  The majority, yes.  But many live average, steady lives.  I live an average life.  I am more fortunate than a lot of people in the US and the world.  In this town though, I am normal.  

My friends back in California laugh when I tell them of the ridiculous things that happen here.  It can be pretty unbelievable.  The kids are bored and rich, and that equation is not one I'm up for solving.  

It is pompous here, but at least it is not dangerous.  It is so safe and manicured.  Crime is practically unheard of.  It is vastly different from where I am from.  Everyone else in Colorado hates and pokes fun at "The Bubble."  It is just full of a bunch of "snobby, rich, white people."

That is what I am labeled as.  People think we all have money pouring out of our ears.  I am not even as white as the majority of people living here!  Yes, I have my clothes, jewelry, and purses, but I try my best not to flaunt them.  My house, while bigger than what I grew up in, is just "average size" for "The Bubble."

I consider myself to be a normal teenager, but living here as branded me.  I now fit into a stereotype.  It is a stereotype people back where I was born sneer at.  

Then again, people in Colorado have stereotyped California.  "Oh, you're from California?  Did you see famous people everywhere you went?  Go to the beach everyday?  Shop in Beverly Hills?  Tan everyday??"  No.  No that is not it at all.  

That is why you can not stereotype anything or anyone.  People will continue to stereotype things until the world ends, of course.  What I say won't ever change that.  That is the way it is and the way it shall be.  Yet, I try a little more not to categorize people and things.  I know I am lucky.  I am lucky to have grown up in California around so many people who love me.  I am now lucky to live in an incredibly safe and wonderful place in Colorado.  I am lucky, but being lucky does not mean life is always easy.

Being lucky comes with a price tag, but it is a price I am willing to pay.  

Until next time xxx.

My New Style Blog

Yay!  Finally I have made a blog dedicated to style and style only.  Check it out: Darling Diamonds
I am so excited to have created this and to be posting about it.
Here on Little Thoughts, Big Ideas, a lot of topics are covered.  A lot of the time, they are thoughts that I have running through my mind.  I want to focus on continuing to do that, but also sharing recipes, traveling experiences, beauty tips, etc. on Little Thoughts, Big Ideas.  The style will be saved for Darling Diamonds.
I would love for everyone to check it out and tell the people you know (who love fashion) to click on over!
School makes life very crazy, but I have a couple good ideas for posts on here that will be coming up soon so stay tuned!  Until next time xxx.

darlingdiamonds.blogspot.com

A Tribute to Robin Williams

Tragic.  It is the only word that truly expresses what happened.  The world suffered a great loss when Robin Williams took his own life on Monday, August 11, 2014.  I will always remember the moment I heard the devastating news.  I was in the car with my dad and we heard on the radio, "It is so sad really, found dead in his home earlier today…"
My dad said, "Who?"
The man on the radio promptly said, "All too sad.  It was said the actor was dealing with depression.  Again, the body of Robin Williams was found in his home today."
"WHAT?!!" My father and I shouted at the same time.  I could not believe it.  I must have gone into shock.  None of it seemed real.  I truly thought it was a twisted joke.  Was it April 1st, because this was not funny.  It could not have been real.  No… just no.

Honestly, I get sad when people I've never met die.  I cry a little, just because I am sad for them and for their loved ones.  When Cory Monteith died, I cried for a day probably and was just so devastated.  I had been a fan of Glee, and hearing about the accidental overdose was truly heartbreaking.

Yet, I never felt a loss of a celebrity as deep as I felt when Robin Williams passed away.  His voice and his laugh will always remind me of my childhood.  I can not count the times I have watched Jumanji, Mrs. Doubtfire, Aladdin, RV… the list goes on.  He always was able to make me laugh, while teaching some huge life lesson.  Robin Williams was truly talented in so many ways.

It breaks my heart to know someone who brought joy to millions was not able to find joy himself.  It is quite scary, because is shows how powerful and controlling our own demons are.  To learn he was beginning to suffer from Parkinson's Disease is even more heartbreaking.  It hurts me to know that a man who brought happiness into my life as a child is gone.

The world is darker now and nowhere near as funny as it once was.  RV had me laughing until I was nearly in tears.  It is such a quotable film my family and I would watch frequently.  My brothers and I still watch it to this day on road trips.  Mrs. Doubtfire was perfection to say the least.  It is just a beautiful story full of humor.  Jumanji kept me on the edge of my seat.  Everyone has seen Aladdin at least once (at least I hope so).  The genie is so iconic and I know all the words to every song.
 
But, Robin Williams was just not the films he starred in.  He was known as being one of the kindest, gentlest souls Hollywood had ever seen.  His humor was always on point, and he had the incredible ability to crack jokes on the spot.  It was fascinating to watch him in interviews, hear him on the radio broadcasts, and inspiring to see him travel to perform for soldiers.  He seemed like a truly good man with a heart of gold.

It feels like I lost someone I knew.  Robin Williams has been in my life since childhood, and it is devastating to know he was hurting so much.  Whatever his feelings were, I know the whole world wishes they could have done something to help.

Yes, I am so, so sad that the world is missing a wonderful soul.  But I am more devastated for his family, friends, and other loved ones.  Robin is at peace now and more laughs are ringing through heaven because of him.  His loved ones have been left behind to grieve and that is saddest of all.

Rest in peace Robin, and thank you for everything.  Keep everyone laughing up there.  I can't wait to meet you one day.  Until next time xxx.

How I Have Survived High School (So Far)

High school is definitely a difficult part in everyone's life.  It's a little awkward, very stressful, and just plain confusing.  The stress is too real junior year and I'm learning that very quickly (I've only gone to school four days so far).  People who can just breeze through the school work loads and overall stress are very blessed.  They have a gift I'd say.  Now, I have survived high school so far and am beginning my third year.  My advice to you would be this:

• Enjoy your friends while you have them.  People change and many teenagers are very immature, so this change is inevitable.  Your good friends now may one day change.  A lot.  People have different priorities like popularity, and that can kill a relationship.
• Do not obsess with being popular or having a boyfriend/girlfriend.  That is stupid and it wastes your sweet time.  Popularity honestly DOES NOT MATTER.  If you peak in high school, I feel incredibly bad for you.  Focus on being a genuinely good person.  That's it.
• Get involved!  I played field hockey for a year, and am going to continue with tennis.  I met a lot of great people through it (some not so great, but oh well) and have kept some great friendships.  It's fun and a new experience.  Just join a sport or club and see where it takes you.
• Drama is a NO.  Do not spread rumors, whine about your "horrible" life and cry over stupid boys.  Just don't go there and life is 110% simplified.
• Stay grounded.  I mean this because it is vital to basically the rest of your life.  Be a good person with high standards and just don't make dumb mistakes you will regret for the rest of your life.  I think I am lucky to be so sure of myself, and I hope you are the same.
• Take school work seriously.  It is important even if it can be pointless.  We learn different things to stretch our brains and one day I know I'll be happy when I'm writing, traveling, and doing all the other things I love.
• Go to school dances.  Maybe they are a cliche, but lots of people go.  They are fun!  Go with friends, get dressed up, go out to dinner and have a night to remember (in a good way).  Don't be stupid.
• Avoid peer pressure.  I don't hang out with negative influences and I've never been pressured to drink or do drugs.  It is something I am very proud of.  Giving into peer pressure is a weak thing to do.  Stay strong.
• BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.  It may sound dumb, but it's true.  Have a good four years and always be the bigger person.  Be the best you you can be.  And believe in yourself.
• STAY POSITIVE.  Just do it for goodness sakes.  Put a smile on your face.

Finally…

Live in the moment.  Time flies.  Honestly, I can not believe I am a junior.  I was starting my freshman year seconds ago it seems.  Love the moments because life is just made up of moments after all.  Make new friends, lose some friends, go on adventures, play some sports, read some books, go to some dances, and just live.  

Staying true to yourself is the best advice I have to give.  Life is short and high school is even shorter.  Cherish it all because one day it will all be gone.  Until next time xxx.

Summer is Over. Time Flies.

Okay, so technically there are a few remaining days of summer.  But the majority of those glorious summer days are over.  I can no longer sleep in until 10 or even 11 sometimes.  I'll have to wake at the dark hour of six o'clock.  In my opinion, being awake that early is a crime against nature.  It is simply not natural to wake up that early in the morning.  The thought of it makes me sick.  School itself sickens me and the majority of people I know.  We waste our days behind desks learning mindless things when we could be out traveling the world and creating a life for ourselves.  It's sad really, and I wish the endless summer days lasted forever.
Summer is simply a beautiful time where you are gifted with a couple months of freedom.  There are no responsibilities or stress.  It's just you, the sun, and good memories.  Time really does fly and it scares me.  If a couple months fly by so fast, I just know my last couple years of high school will go by in no time.  Just one more summer until my senior year, and then one summer after that and I will be in college… or wherever life happens to take me.  It's exciting and terrifying.
I'm going to approach this school year with a new mindset.  I am going to live my life and never settle for anything that does not bring me happiness.   It's my life and I'm the one who has to live it for the rest of my days on earth so why not just do whatever I want?  I don't see a point in being a people-pleaser or conforming to the expectations of others.  Soon, I want to post a review of the book, The Art of Non-Conformity.  I'm not quite done reading it, but it's really changing the way I see the world and myself.  Now that summer is over, it is time to focus on myself and what I want.  The book is helping me to see that.  It's never too late to change your life and why not start when summer ends?  After all, "Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall." -F. Scott Fitzgerald.  I included some beautiful summertime photos I took while on vacation because I know I will look back on these photos with fondness during the cold winter months.  Until next time xxx.

I'm Writing a Book!

It is finally happening. I have been writing for years and years. In my closet and under my bed live stacks and stacks of papers. I've done most of my writing by hand, but I have also typed a few things as well. The more you write, the better you get is what I've decided. It's that way with anything of course. They say it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert at anything. 

Anyways, I am finally writing something serious and am putting my energy into this one particular project. I'm planning to self publish and sell on Amazon. I came up with the characters and general plot over a year ago. But, with my dad's input and ideas (he too is a writer) I've got an incredible twist to the story. I'm finally cracking down and writing this story that I hope I can soon share with everyone. 

I'm not comfortable with releasing all the details just yet, but maybe a little later down the road I will publish a chapter or section onto my blog. I would love feedback and everyone's opinion, but I want to get deeper into the story first. 

Writing is one of my biggest passions  (that and traveling) so I'm hoping to turn this into something truly special. I am so, so excited and wanted to share on here! Until next time xxx. 

Happily Ever After

I'm not planning on getting married for at least ten years. I think wedding between the ages of 26-29 is reasonable. I will have been able to get a degree, establish some sort of career, travel, build strong friendships, and date around. I'm in no rush to grow up and start a life with someone for at least a decade. 

But I do think it's exciting. I laugh at the girls my age who complain about "being single forever" just because they are single right now. It's absolutely ridiculous. It's possibly the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. We are teenagers afterall, still in high school, and have not yet completely entered the adult world. So to all the young folks out there sobbing into their pillows because their crush doesn't like them back... Stop. 

Just think about how exciting your life is right now, and how the future holds such wonderful things. There is a time and place for everything. Why rush time (something I find rushes itself too often)? I want to make the most of my two years left in high school! But I also can't help but daydream of all the wondourous adventures that await me in the future. 

I know I will create a great life for myself with special people in it. I love knowing that some of the best days of my whole life haven't happened yet. It's thrilling. 

Like I said, I like to day dream. Pinterest helps fuel all my little dreams. Looking at Pinterest (mine is isabelfabela), these thoughts run through my head:

Maybe I should redecorate my room. 

Oo, what if I lived there one day?

I wish that was in my closet. 

I have an outfit that looks just like that!

Okay, I'm definitely cooking that. 

And baking that. 

And eating all of that. 

That. Jewelry. Is. So. Sparkly. 

Give me those shoes. 

Maybe I should style my hair like that. 

I'm totally traveling there one day. 

I'll try doing my makeup that way!

Or that way

Or maybe this way?

That backyard is a dream come true. 

Wow that quote is so inspirational. 

Ohh, this quote's my new life motto!

So yes, I pin basically everything. It's a little ridiculous. I've been spending more time on Pinterest lately that usual since I've been recovering... And have finally wandered over to the wedding page. I know, I know. I never really used to click over there because I thought "heck, I'm not getting married for like a million years! I'm just going to look at stuff that inspires me right now." But everything on there is just so beautiful and it pulled me in. I could probably spend years looking at different dresses, rings, venues, flowers, engagement photos, bridal showers and so much more. So I created my own wedding board and titled it "Happily Ever After." 

I think that's why I don't want to rush into marriage at a young age. Not only do I find it irrational, but I want to have a happily ever after. I know that I'm not Cinderella and wishing for a happily ever after may be juvenile of me, but I don't care. I think the older you are, the more likely you are to find someone who will give you that perfect fairytale sort of ending. Of course, there are always bumps in the road and issues in life, but as I'm about to die I want to look back on my life with grace in my heart and remember my marriage as something that did my life well. So I know it's not always "happily ever after" but in all I would like it to amount to something similar. 

So now I pin things on weddings and plan out my ideal wedding for someday. I know my ideas will change, but it's still fun and exciting. Planning a real wedding will stress me out beyond belief, so it's fun to just play pretend for now. Until next time xxx. 

Sixteen Candles

Sixteen years and less than 6,000 days. That's how long yours truly has been around (as of July 11th). On this day, Krispy Kreme celebrated their very own 77th birthday, Chick-fil-A had cow appreciation day, 7-11 gave out free slurpees... And I got 16 candles on my birthday cake which read "Happy 16th Birthday Isabel." A pretty standard message, but I picked it out. I didn't want any embarassing nicknames scrawled across my cake!

It was a lattice cake with pink roses. I LOVED it!

My 16th birthday wasn't celebrated with an extravagant bash you'd find on MTV. It was no Molly Ringwald movie either. Yet, it was my birthday and l wouldn't have had it any other way. All my family came over to my aunt's house and my dad barbecued. I'm still debating on whether or not to have a party with friends in Colorado. To be completely honest, it isn't at the top of my list for now. First, my mouth just needs to heal!

On the morning of my birthday I awoke to a lovely variety of Mexican bread from a delicious market. It was exactly what I wanted (I wanted a light breakfast, to save room for cake and ice cream later obviously!). My aunt made me a strawberry smoothie and overall it was a mellow morning. 

I got ready, curling my hair and wearing a brand new dress my grandmother had just bought me. She always takes me on a little shopping trip whenever I go back home!

Then, my grandma and I went to get manicures and pedicures while everyone else in the family set up for my party. 

My pretty manicure is still hanging in there for being a week old! 

Then I relaxed mostly at my grandparents, and returned later to my aunt's house for the dinner, presents, and cake. My parents had bought me a lovely bouquet of roses and an assortment of balloons!

There are lots more photos on other cameras and such, which I'm sure I'll be getting sometime soon. Yet me with frosting on my face... Well I think that really captures the essence of my 16th birthday. It was sweet, fun, and memorable. I was happy and I'm grateful for the outpouring of love I recieved! While it was nice to have well wishes on social media, I truly appreciate all the sweet texts, phone calls, and hugs from loved ones on my special day. Until next year 7/11.. And until next time xxx. 

You've Only Got Yourself

It may sound a little sad. Afterall, there are over seven billion people on this planet and all you've got is yourself. It's all I've got, too. Seven billion is a whooping big number let me tell you. So with all these people around, why do we only have ourselves to depend on? 

Like I said earlier, it may sound sad, but it isn't really too sad. It's mostly hopeful. How incredible is it to know that the only person you've got is yourself? Heck, you can make yourself whatever you'd please. You don't need to rely on someone else to make you feel loved or to even bring a smile to your face. You can simply depend on yourself; and if you're the best version of yourself you can be, how could you possibly become disappointed? As long as you're trying your very best.. That's what should keep you happy. 

I know it's important to have good friends and a supportive family surrounding you. But news flash: life is not fair. It never has been and trust me, it never will be. But don't let that get you down. That's just the truth. We shouldn't let the truth bother us as much as it does. We should just accept it and move on. So no, life is not fair and there is always going to be someone who has it "better" than you. But the grass is always greener. You have it better than so many other people in the world. If you're reading this, you must have a computer of some sort which makes you pretty freaking lucky. So yeah, life isn't fair and you can't always depend on others to make your life great. 

Friends come and go. Sometimes, they even change likes the seasons. If you find a friend worth holding onto, then do everything you can to hold onto them. If a day comes when they don't want to be in your life anymore, let them leave. If someone wants to walk away you should just let them. Why waste your precious energy on someone who's done wasting theirs on you? Life is short and you only have so much energy so don't go wasting it. That's just a silly mistake and a huge waste of your own valuable time. People come and go because life isn't fair and it doesn't always make sense. That's why you've only got yourself. Some people stay for good, but sometimes you never know when one day a person is going to up and leave your life forever. Accept it. Accept that it will happen at some point in time. If it hasn't happened to you yet (and I hope it hasn't) it may someday. Because life isn't fair. But that's okay. You've got yourself. 

Family is always supposed to be around, but families can be crazy. Sometimes things happen. People get busy. People fall in and out of love. People move away. People get old. People die. I don't mean to seem like a Debbie downer. It's just the truth. The truth remains that nothing is permanent. Especially not people. As much as we would love to believe in every sweet story we read and mesmorizing movie we watch, it's important to understand that it's pretend. Not every story has a happy ending. But if you hold on dearly to yourself, your ending can be pretty damn happy. 

Just think about it. You've got yourself. You are this wonderful, beautiful, strong, capable human being. You were given this incredible gift of life. Why waste something so precious? You can become whatever you want. You can follow your dreams. 

I know we are taught as young kids to follow our dreams and to become whatever our heart desires. Then, you grow up and the world isn't as bright as you always thought. Life isn't as easy as you grew up believing. It's hard to become whatever we want when we may not even know who we are. But let me tell you something.. It's a little bit of a secret, but the world is as bright as you grew up believing. And it's a million times more beautiful than you could ever imagine! It's a wonderful world and you have a wonderful life and you can do whatever you want because it's your life and you've got yourself. 

As a teenager, I'm surrounded by people who think their lives are ending. Teenagers. They can be depressed or out of control. Teenagers. The broken hearted. But we are just teenagers. We've lived less than two decades and we think we have got the whole world figured out. 

I'll admit, my father says I act like I know it all... And I'm sure I can be a real pain in the ass sometimes. But I'm glad to understand that I'm just a teenager and my life isn't anywhere near ending. All the petty drama with friends and boys, the stress school and sports bring, and all the pressure to fit in.. What's with that anyways? These few years aren't my whole life. I'm only a teenager for so long. It's hard to believe I'm not a kid anymore. Time flies and people change and that is why you've only got yourself. Why act like the whole world is ending when it's only just beginning? Everyday is a new beginning, no matter how old you are. 

I'm only starting to fully accept that I've got myself. I hope to be surrounded by love forever, but nothing is permanent. Nothing is perfect. Even the sun sets in paradise, remember? So just love yourself. If you love yourself, others will love you, too. They'll love you and perhaps stick around, because they'll see that you're independent and strong. You don't need them, and when they see that it'll sort of amaze them. Nothing is more beautiful than standing strong when you're standing alone. 

Any ordinary person can stand in a big group of people and claim to not be lonely. Yet, It takes someone truly special to stand all alone and admit that they're not lonely. They've got themselves, you see. They don't need you or anyone else. I think that's a very lovely trait to posess; independence. 

So you're living on this planet with over seven billion people. There is no one just like you though. You're your own person and not one other person can compare. So maybe the next time you're walking all alone down a busy street, you'll stand a little taller and smile a lot brighter because you've FINALLY realized how unique and important you are. 

You've got yourself and you have a long life to live. Make it a memorable life. Make yourself strong and become empowered. You can do whatever you please, so why not do something worthwhile? Until next time xxx. 

Going Back Home

I was back. Traveling through Vegas, I reached my final destination. The one place I actually feel whole. The golden state. 

I returned to Disneyland, stared up at the Hollywood sign, and went back to the Bay. And oh, was it blissful. If I could move back right now, I would.

Of course, I would miss Ainsley (maybe I would take her with me!) and Hankenzie. All three of them would have to visit or maybe just move along with me so we could continue our wonderful adventures and throw many more holiday parties (how does a Christmas party on the beach sound?). 

Anyways, I was back and I was loving it. Goodness, do I miss it. I turned the sweet 16, connected with my millions of family members at the reunion, ate a lot, bonded with my cousins, visited the iconic Chinese theater, and so much more. 

The day I got home (12 hours later to be exact) I got all four of my wisdom teeth pulled. So while I'm confined to my bed I decided to blog all about California. 

If you've read Little Thoughts, Big Ideas before, you are well aware that I love California more than anything, so I won't bore you with that anymore. I just wanted to share some pictures that captured the grand scheme of the trip... 

Some cousins! the younger one is my cousin from Norway and the older one is my cousin Katie. 

Birthday cake on the face.. A tradition of sorts. 

My other sweet cousins (who just happen to be twins!)

My lovely mother and I before my party. 

San Francisco

Ice cream with my grandma in Ghiradhelli Squre. 

The bay with my dad!

My grandma wanted to "selfie." Outside Victoria's Bakery in North Beach. 

My cousins incredibly adorable dog, Layla. 

Muir Woods

My old friend, Huckelberry. He's my aunt's dog and I've known him for 12 years. He just had to visit from Norway, too!

4th of July celebrations!

My cousin and I are sneaky when we visit our old elementary school. 

My mom, her sister (my fabulous aunt) and I at a 4th of July picnic. 

Where dreams are made of. 

Cruisin' with my brothers in their adorable Mickey Mouse hats. 

Hollywood

Chinese Theater!

My brave brother and I going on Splash Mountain. 

The Venetian in Vegas. 

Hoover DAMN it was huge. 

Chinese Theater was pretty extravagant. 

Vegas and a fake Eiffel Tower (no worries, next summer I'll be standing by the real deal). 

My favorite beignets from Cafe Orleans

Paradise Pier!

A magical fireworks show!

There are probably 1000 more pictures out there. Everyone at the family reunion and my birthday party was using a different camera, and a few of my aunts and my dad still have a bunch of photos they need to share! Perhaps a part 3 will be in order somewhere down the rode. I think a 16th birthday post may be in the future and one just on Disneyland (Isabel in Disneyland.. An Adventure Story? I haven't done one of those in forever!) until next time xxx.