Everything is Changing

Today reality hit me and it hit me hard.  It stuck me today, when my high school had it's annual Moving Up Ceremony.  At the Moving Up Ceremony, the freshmen become sophomores, sophomores become upperclassmen, the current juniors become the new seniors, and the seniors… well, the seniors leave for good.  
I knew sometime last night that I would be crying today.  Yet, when I arrived in the gym before the ceremony began, I vowed myself not to cry (I hadn't found my waterproof mascara that morning, anyways).  There the teachers were, forming a long aisle for the students to walk down and bid them farewell.  As the sad music came on and the first seniors stepped out, I felt my eyes sting with tears.  I held it back though, and only did the first tear fall when I saw my friend's brother wave her down from the bleachers and then give her a huge hug.  It was a bittersweet moment.
I watched on as siblings found each other and best friends sobbed.  I smiled a watery smile as students hugged their teachers and thanked them for the impact they left on their life.  I decided to make my way on down when I saw some seniors I wanted to say goodbye to.  I said goodbye briefly, before turning and seeing Hannah.  Her eyes were filled with tears as expected and she gave me the biggest hug.  There was no talking, just the sad sound of crying.  Then Mackenzie and Ainsley came along (sobbing as predicted) and my level of emotions was kicked up even further.  The crying and "Don't Leave!" "I Can't Leave!" were said many times over and over.  The sadness was at an all time high.  I could not even contain my sobs at this point but I did not even care anymore.
The lovely Eileen and Marianne took some photos despite our red eyes and streaked faces.  My sobs had subsided somewhat.
Then I saw Melanie, who I've known since the first day of freshmen year.  She has been in my Spanish class for two consecutive years and it will be hard to have another year of Spanish without the group of IB kids.  I said bye to a few other seniors and it was all very, very sad.
I have yet to say goodbye to the seniors I know at our rival school.  I am attending my "big sister" from field hockey's graduation party tomorrow evening and am hoping I do not cry.  She was a great role model to me throughout the season and I looked up to her and was able to learn so much from her.  I'm grateful for all she taught me about hard work and perseverance and will miss her a lot (her name is also Hannah!)
Anyways, the Moving Up Ceremony concluded with the seniors exiting the gym.  Then, the juniors moved to the senior side of the bleachers, and my sophomore class was able to cross the gym.  Now, we are juniors.  It is a scary, bewildering, exciting, nerve-racking (and about 100 other things) thought.  
Mostly, I will just miss Hannah and Mackenzie the most.  Sure, I'll miss lots of the friendly faces I knew and enjoyed talking to, but Hannah and Mackenzie became almost like the older sisters I never had.  It may sounds like a cheesy cliche, but that's exactly what they are to me and I'll miss them dearly.  I will miss our Christmas Party planning and all our talks about Gossip Girl and style and I will mostly just miss seeing them at tennis and talking to them in the halls.  It really is the small things we end up missing the most and I miss it already.  Who knows how life will even go on when they really leave to college, but it will go on.
It seems as though I was a freshmen a mere week ago.  In all honesty, I can remember so much of it so clearly and it does not seem very distant at all.  I'm missing being an underclassmen already because I can remember being in 8th grade and looking up to them so much.  Now I'm almost an upperclassmen and everyone will be looking to my class.  It is so scary to me because I can't believe that time goes by this fast.
Before I know it, I'll be in the seniors'  shoes and I'll be leaving my younger siblings at home just like Hannah and Mackenzie are doing soon.  I'm terrified that once high school is over, that's it.  High school is such a big yet small part of life and I can not believe it is halfway over.  Now is such a time to reflect because I'm stuck right in the middle.  Maybe I can just stay here forever.  It's safe in the middle.  Not too young and at the bottom, but also not too old with a lot of responsibilities.  I like the middle and I'm not quite ready to leave it.
I'm not ready for this big world.  It's a wonderful place and I've always wanted to explore it, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to leave my friends and family and go out on my own.  
It's terrifying that we all grow up one day and we all grow old and then the next day the only thing remaining is the memory of our past.

I'm crying again just thinking about how different next year will be and how I'll be missing some very important people in my life.  I have no clue how Ainsley and I will function normally without Hankenzie and all their hilarious friends around.  They're quite the bunch and one day I hope to have a group of friends as close as them.  I'm getting all emotional again knowing I won't see any of them as often and getting sad because times are changing so I leave you with the song by Vitamin C.  Yes, it's a throwback and the video is dumb, but the lyrics are very true and easy to connect with.  I know everything will be okay after awhile, but this transition is going to be quite difficult.  I hope you are all doing well.  Until next time xxx.

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

The Daughters

There is a book series called The Daughters and it is by Joanna Philbin.  Now, I'll admit the series is somewhat juvenile and I read them a couple years ago.  It is the perfect series for middle school girls, so I'm not necessarily encouraging you to go run out and read them at this moment, but do what you please.  I remember enjoying them, because they are about an elite known group of people living in The Big Apple.  There is a group of girls called "The Daughters," because they are the daughters of well-known people in society such as super models, actors, and famous singers and authors. 
The Daughters throw parties and go to cultural events.  They care a lot about style and other important occurrences in the world.
Now, while I am not related to any famous supermodels or anything like that, myself, along with Ainsley, Mackenzie, and Hannah almost seem similar to The Daughters for these reasons:

• We love fashion.  And not just your basic "fashion" that all teen girls wear.  We appreciate couture and spend great lengths of time exploring Pinterest and taking different pieces of clothing and trying to put them together.  Not only are clothes important to fashion, but we never forget a pair of great shoes or some stunning accessories.  Style is probably a reason we are such a great group of friends: 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  

  Ignore Ainsley's angry face.

  
  

  

  "Caught off guard"

  
  

  

  I cropped me and Ainsley out because we were dressed like Miranda Sings. (ft. THE Miranda Sings)

  
  

  

  A very old picture- but look at our cute coordinating shirts

• We play tennis, field hockey, and run cross country (except Ainsley and I don't do the running on cross country.  We leave that to Hannah and Mackenzie).  Now, I'm not sure if any of the fictional characters known as The Daughters play these sports, but I imagine they would.  Tennis and field hockey players both play in skirts, and this seems like something a daughter would do.
  
• The four of us alone have thrown a fairly large party.  We used our own money (A Daughter would probably use their parents') and spent several weeks preparing for a lovely holiday party.  It was definitely a party we will always remember.  

Those are just three reasons we are a group.  We are not The Daughters (I wish) but we are an equally unique and fabulous group that I would not change for the world.  As the days pass I realize how depressed I will be when Hannah and Mackenzie head off to college.  Ainsley and I will not know what to do with our lives.  On another note, we are also meeting tomorrow at a local book store to do some planning for something incredible.  More details will come on that later.  I hope you've had a lovely Sunday!  Until next time xxx.

Us Compared to the World

I'm so bored and sleepy but I refuse to go to bed.  It's the weekend after all so I should at least stay up into the early morning hours (my logic).  I don't feel like watching TV or any movies or even reading.  I just want to write.  I want to write about the world, and how incredible it is.

I'm thinking about how big the world is and how small it is at the same time.  Compared to the entire universe the world is just a little speck of dust.  Isn't that something?  Even in this world we are just the most invisible fraction.  I find it fascinating.  There is so much to be explored and so much to discover and yet I am sitting here doing absolutely nothing.

We go to school or work each day and fall into mindless routines.  We stress out over what seems to be our entire world, yet when put into perspective, our troubles are so small and seemingly meaningless in the big world and even greater universe.  It almost hurts my head to think about what is out there and what else I can be doing right now.

I could be exploring a foreign place and meeting a diverse group of people.  Instead, I wake up each morning in the same place, do the same things, and talk to the same people.  Not that I should necessarily be complaining.  I'm very blessed to live in a safe place and be surrounded by mostly good people.  The bigger problem is that I want to do more.  I want to leave one day and return years later.  I want to disappear into the vast world and learn a million new lessons.

Instead of making myself into something important, I feel as if I'm making myself into what everyone else wants and expects.  It's as if I've been planted to this one spot and I need to uproot myself.  Even though we are all small on this earth, we can turn ourselves into something big.  It's all about taking that first giant step, and I'm not quite there yet.  Someday.  Until next time xxx.

Letters to Yourself

In my mind, I've made it a priority to begin writing myself letters.  Before you assume I'm completely insane, let me explain.  Do you remember when you were in second grade and your teacher would have you write your older, high school self a letter?  It usually included details of your current favorite television show and your best friend.

I remember those little notes and now I look back in laughter at my younger self.  Now, wouldn't it be interesting to write yourself letters to open on the day of high school graduation, the day you move out, the day of your wedding, when you have your first child, etc.?  Except, the letters I would write now would include details and would be extensive.  

I believe that so many important things to me right now will soon be distant, forgettable memories.  I would be devastated if I could not remember all my friends, stupid things we did, funny things my brothers said, or anything else in between.  If I wrote my future self about how stressed out and nervous I was for the future, I would later be able to look back with a smile on my face.

Even having letters to open on some of the most important days of my life would be phenomenal and I just would find them to be lovely tokens from the past.  If I wanted, I could even show them to my kids or read over them on a rainy day.  It would be beyond amazing to see how I have changed.

As people, we change so much in short periods of time without even realizing it.  It's time to start enjoying little moments more and holding them closer to our hearts.  Before we know it, we may just forget it all.  Until next time xxx.

To Hannah and Mackenzie

I've decided it would be completely appropriate to dedicate a post to Hannah and Mackenzie since they will be graduating in less than no time.  I will miss them more than anyone knows so I thought I would put together all these wonderful pictures of us because I love them so.

So here's to Mackenzie and Hannah, two of the classiest ladies I know.  They introduced me to this wonderful thing called a blog so I have them to thank for that.  Not only are they fantastic party planners but they are also pretty great tennis players with style that would only suit the Upper East Side.  I love both of them and can not wait to visit them in college.

P.S. Many of these feature the one and  only Ainsley.

And to many more great memories ahead.  Love, Isabel.  Until next time xxx.

What's Better Than The Fault in Our Stars?

The question on everybody's mind.  Now, I couldn't tell you, because I have yet to read TFIOS.  I know, I know, I have to.  Trust me, I want to.  I've had a lot on my plate recently and haven't thought to pick up a new book and lose myself completely.  But trust me when I say I will read the book before the movie comes to theaters.

There is a book that I've decided will one day be just as big, if not bigger than "The Fault in Our Stars."  With all the hype surrounding John Green's love story, my statement may be hard to believe.  Yet I have read this other book numerous times and I fall a little more in love with the story each time.  It is a piece of perfection and it is called "The Beautiful Between," by Alyssa Sheinmel.  I'll admit when I read the first page of the book, I wasn't sure if I would like it, but boy did I enjoy it.

"The Beautiful Between," is not quite your classic love story.  From what I can tell, it's very different from TFIOS.  While TFIOS is about two characters who fall madly in love with one another, "The Beautiful Between" is much more real (at least in my opinion).  

It takes place in Manhattan, present day.  A high school student named Connelly Sternin lives with her mother in a modest apartment.  Connelly's father died when she was young (she doesn't know how) but up until this point she has told everyone her parents simply divorced.   Connelly attends a nice school, where a socialite's son happens to attend.  His name is Jeremy Cole and his family is well known throughout the island.  One day, the popular Jeremy attempts to befriend Connelly and from there everything changes.  There are unexpected twists, heartbreaking moments, and others that make your heart just burst with love. 

The book lacks in romance, but instead delivers with honest love between family and friends.  You'll understand Connelly, adore and love Kate, and want a best friend just like Jeremy.  There is no story like it. 

Connelly is fond of Hemingway's "A Farewell to Arms," and I decided to read that book  in school.  I loved it just as much.  If you read "The Beautiful Between," I promise you won't regret it.  It's the best book I've ever read and I love it so, so much.  The simplicity of it all really strikes a chord.  Until next time xxx.

If high school were a fairy-tale kingdom, Connelly Sternin would be Rapunzel, locked not in a tower by a wicked witch but in a high-rise apartment building by the SATs and college applications—and by the secrets she keeps. Connelly's few friends think that her parents are divorced—but they're not. Connelly's father died when she was two, and she doesn't know how. 

If Connelly is the Rapunzel of her school, Jeremy Cole is the crown prince, son of a great and rich New York City family.

For we were never lonely and never afraid when we were together. -A Farewell to Arms

Life is Not Perfect- What I've Learned

Now I'm all for living a positive life full of love and grace.   I believe that a positive attitude equals a happy life.  It's hard to deny this because it is simply the truth.
But in light of recent events in my life, I've realized another simple truth: life is not perfect. Life is not easy and it can be really damn hard to stay positive.  But listen, even though I understand this doesn't make it any easier.  It is really hard lots of the time to put a smile on my face and try to stay positive.  Yet, I suppose it is important to treat the world kinder than it has treated you.  
Life itself is the hardest thing you are ever going to do and sometimes things can be pretty screwed up.  But if you look around, life can be wonderful as well.  Sometimes within the deepest tragedies comes a beautiful ray of sunlight.  It's so hard to believe.  How can something so lovely be stuck in the middle of something so dark?  I suppose that that's  just the way the world works.  On occasion the world beats us up and on others it treats us like the most loved and important person in the world.
It's perfectly acceptable to have bad days and it's great to feel special on others.  I suppose with the conclusion of this short post I just wanted to say that it's all okay.  All the good and all the bad are all okay.  Even when the world is not going in your favor, find one thing to be grateful for.  It'll change everything.  Until next time xxx.