Yet, there comes a time in life when it is time to face the music and accept reality for all that it is- including it's wonderful highs and tragic lows. I have come to accept that, as my dad says, "You don't know everything kiddo." (thanks dad?). But it's true. I don't know everything. Out of all the things there are to know in this universe, I probably know nothing. Sometimes, I don't even know the things I think I know. Does that even make sense? I don't know. Do you?
The whole point is that maybe I don't know everything, but there are a few things I have grown to be absolutely certain of. One of these things is that being a realist is the only way I'm going to survive.
Sure, dreaming is a beautiful thing and there is nothing I do more than imagine my life someway it is not. Maybe if I looked different and lived somewhere else and was born in a different time and had a million dollars... stop. I am me and I am here and I have what I have. It is what it is. I am me and you are you.
I have also had to learn that 95% of the things I encounter in my life will be out of my control. There are a thousand and one things that are out of my control. For example, I left California in 5th grade, but a year later I found out one of my closest friends there got cancer and died. I can't control that my 4th grade teacher, "the cool teacher," molested kids for years and now has to spend the rest of his sorry life in jail. I couldn't control that I was an only child for ten years, or that my parents are getting divorced, or that I moved away from California and everything I knew. I can't control the things I can't control. I can control my reactions to the things that are out of my control.
I have also had to learn that 95% of the things I encounter in my life will be out of my control. There are a thousand and one things that are out of my control. For example, I left California in 5th grade, but a year later I found out one of my closest friends there got cancer and died. I can't control that my 4th grade teacher, "the cool teacher," molested kids for years and now has to spend the rest of his sorry life in jail. I couldn't control that I was an only child for ten years, or that my parents are getting divorced, or that I moved away from California and everything I knew. I can't control the things I can't control. I can control my reactions to the things that are out of my control.
Do you think the people on the Titanic wanted it to hit the iceberg? I'm just saying.
It's scary to know that, no matter what you do or what you say, life is going to do what it wants with you. It'll pick you up, swing you around, drop you, save you right before you hit the ground, and sometimes laugh while you fall. So, you can dream all you want. But just know half the things you dream of won't happen and things you never even imagined, a million better things, will happen instead.
Something else I have observed during my time in high school is that all these kids around me have grand plans for the future. It is incredible really. Yes, I have plans of my own. But some of these people sound a lot like, "At 24 I'm going to get engaged to the cute guy I meet at work and by 25 I will have my perfect wedding in the Bahamas and by 28 I will have two kids, one boy and one girl, named Charlotte and Robert, and then I'll be working in New York City and my family will live in a trendy penthouse and every other Saturday we will have friends over for wine tasting and then we will take our yacht out on the Hudson and every summer we will vacation off the coast of Italy and-"
Really? How great. People that sound like this sure seem to have everything sorted out for their futures. Congratulations. Like I said, dreams are great. They make life exciting and they give us purpose. Sure, there are things I would like for my future. I would like to be a journalist or creative writer of some sort. I want to live in a big city like Los Angeles or Chicago. I don't want to get married until I'm at least 27 and I want to travel. I want to have a few kids. Owning a beach house would be nice. The list goes on. Yet, I'm not sitting over here counting on all of these things. I know they are not guaranteed because life does not guarantee us anything. Life doesn't owe us anything and it certainly doesn't owe us time. So, go ahead, create a list of everything you are expecting for your future. In 30 years I encourage you to look back at this list, check off everything that happened, and add on all the unexpected twists. It will probably surprise you. I'm hoping it surprises me.
Something else you are not guaranteed in this life is people. You will meet assholes and you will meet cool people. Some of the cool people will turn out to be assholes. Some of them will genuinely just be cool. Some of the assholes will actually turn out to be the coolest people you've ever known. Some assholes will always be assholes. Some people you just won't get along with. There will be no spark, or no click, but that doesn't mean they are somehow not cool anymore. They can be cool and you can be cool but maybe you can not be cool together. Some people who seem like assholes to you will be cool to other people. To some people you will be the cool person and to others you will be the asshole. Accept it.
Again, you are not guaranteed time. I could die today. I could also live for the next 90 years. It's terrifying.
Accept whatever happens to you and move on with your life. Life will knock you out and leave you there on the ground. Other times life will pick you up and toss you into the stars.
Something else I have observed during my time in high school is that all these kids around me have grand plans for the future. It is incredible really. Yes, I have plans of my own. But some of these people sound a lot like, "At 24 I'm going to get engaged to the cute guy I meet at work and by 25 I will have my perfect wedding in the Bahamas and by 28 I will have two kids, one boy and one girl, named Charlotte and Robert, and then I'll be working in New York City and my family will live in a trendy penthouse and every other Saturday we will have friends over for wine tasting and then we will take our yacht out on the Hudson and every summer we will vacation off the coast of Italy and-"
Really? How great. People that sound like this sure seem to have everything sorted out for their futures. Congratulations. Like I said, dreams are great. They make life exciting and they give us purpose. Sure, there are things I would like for my future. I would like to be a journalist or creative writer of some sort. I want to live in a big city like Los Angeles or Chicago. I don't want to get married until I'm at least 27 and I want to travel. I want to have a few kids. Owning a beach house would be nice. The list goes on. Yet, I'm not sitting over here counting on all of these things. I know they are not guaranteed because life does not guarantee us anything. Life doesn't owe us anything and it certainly doesn't owe us time. So, go ahead, create a list of everything you are expecting for your future. In 30 years I encourage you to look back at this list, check off everything that happened, and add on all the unexpected twists. It will probably surprise you. I'm hoping it surprises me.
Something else you are not guaranteed in this life is people. You will meet assholes and you will meet cool people. Some of the cool people will turn out to be assholes. Some of them will genuinely just be cool. Some of the assholes will actually turn out to be the coolest people you've ever known. Some assholes will always be assholes. Some people you just won't get along with. There will be no spark, or no click, but that doesn't mean they are somehow not cool anymore. They can be cool and you can be cool but maybe you can not be cool together. Some people who seem like assholes to you will be cool to other people. To some people you will be the cool person and to others you will be the asshole. Accept it.
Again, you are not guaranteed time. I could die today. I could also live for the next 90 years. It's terrifying.
Accept whatever happens to you and move on with your life. Life will knock you out and leave you there on the ground. Other times life will pick you up and toss you into the stars.
So, accept things for what they are but don't take life too seriously. If I know anything, it's that you won't be getting out of this alive. Until next time xxx.
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| "You don't know everything." -Dad |
